Forget the G spot, what about the B Point?

There are times when a sub or slave says to me (usually nervously) “Sir, I want you to break me”. For the uninitiated, the sub is referring to that point where they go beyond all their previous limits. I don’t want people thinking that every session of mine is about reaching this limit, because it is not. But in the scenario I’m discussing here, the play has been so intense that the sub or slave has been tested, been able to progress beyond their usual limits and is now in unchartered territory.

The moment when the sub reaches the B Point can be feel like he’s adrift in an endless sea –just floating aimlessly and without a life preserver.

It is unnerving. The sub is exposed and vulnerable possibly for the first time in a long time because up to this point, they have submerged their emotions just to get on in life from day to day. Often, they don’t expect the intensity of the feelings that emerge. I’ve seen anger, despair, joy, relief and everything else you can possibly imagine.2016-05-15 15.17.56

At that point, they are frightened for so many reasons, yet open and receptive to anything I might choose to do them. Or they may close up emotionally and seek to protect themselves.

You see breaking someone in a BDSM context is not about hurting the sub per-se, it’s about doing a full mind and body reset. What I do is not violence.

Think of this process like an electrical system. If too much electricity passes down the wires, circuit breakers are tripped and the power goes off. It’s exactly the same with getting a sub or slave to the Breaking Point.

The pain and the stimuli are built up over time, slowly and gradually or fast and abruptly.

Inevitably, the subject reaches a point where they are unable to take what’s happening and all the usual coping mechanisms are beginning to fail. The sub’s fuse box (brain) overloads and the ‘reset’ is complete.

One of the more beautiful aspects to this is that because they are exposed (and reset), all of the many layers of adult protections and coping mechanisms just melt away.

Rubbersj_Lucas5I play with guys of all ages, but in my experience the response as they reach this point is very similar. The head goes down, the body language shifts and the person either tenses up or goes into a form of ultra-relaxation (a zen like state some people call subspace). Whether they become tense of relax is really down to the individual’s make-up and how open they are to the kind of experience they are about to have. If tense, the person may want to get the hell out of Dodge and fast. If relaxed, every touch at this point will feel electric and ecstatic.

It can be as if the sub is back to being a child before they became beaten up by all that the adult world chose to throw at them. Divorce. Job loss. Grief. Money worries and debt. Failed relationships. If we’ve reached a certain age, we’ve all experienced at least some of these things and yes, we long for a time when we can just be there in the moment and experiencing life without worry. Just like a child.

In this way, reaching the Breaking Point can bring about a palpable catharsis – whether they’ve reached that point through pain, intense stimuli, a mind game or something else like just the sound of my voice as I threaten them with ever more intense sensations. Website_Gasmask1

What happens after the sub has reached the Breaking Point is always interesting too. Subs can feel such pride at having experienced such an intense set of sensations that they leave me feeling and looking like they’ve won a medal. The smiles are often beaming and I’m usually very generous with the hugs and reassurance. It’s a privilege to witness this moment as a Dom, no matter how apparently heartless you have had to be to get the sub or slave to that point.

It can cause serious levels of introspection and reflection. Yes, it can also cause a sub to decide not to return to Me again (but that is rare, what’s more common is that we talk about what happened and what triggered it).

Often these reflections continue days and weeks later.

You see good play is like good therapy: it helps people feel stronger and more centered in every aspect of their life because for the first time in a long time, they can once again be that happy go lucky version of themselves without a care in the world, just feeling in the moment and yes happy. Once again, they are letting themselves feel true emotions and after all, isn’t that what being alive is supposed to be about?

If you were to ask me why I love BDSM so much, it’s for times like these when I have someone’s spirit in my hand and I’m sharing such an emotional and healing moment. It doesn’t happen every time, some people just have their fun and leave, but when it does happen, it makes Me feel eight foot tall and proud of what the sub has achieved.