One of the deep joys about being kinky is the fact that you are always learning. As people that regularly read My blog will know I often write about lessons I’ve drawn from recent sessions. Where appropriate, I turn these lessons into practical advice that will enable submissives and slaves to play with Me effectively.
Today’s post is one such lesson. On occasion, I play with a guy that is out of his depth. That’s not a value judgement on My part, just a statement of objective reality. This could be because they are either very young, inexperienced or unsure what they are seeking from a Dom like Me.
Rather than bemoan the blindingly obvious: that everyone is different, I thought I’d set out My ideal shopping list for non-clients that I play with. So, here’s what I am like:
- I am a sexual sadist. This means I do enjoy inflicting pain and pleasure on my subs. If you’re just looking for someone to tie you up and tease you, I’m probably not the guy for you. But if, despite Me saying this, you want to experience some of the things I do, be prepared to have your limits challenged.
- I am a sexual being too. If you want to play with Me, you need to be prepared to serve Me in some way sexually. I may reciprocate with you or I may not, it depends on the connection. I’m not just talking about sex, although if it happens, that’s fine. This is especially important for people with partners/husbands. If you are not able to offer any kind of sexual service to Me, you need to tell Me and that will factor into My decision on whether I invite you to come and play or not.
- I expect a lot from My subs and slaves. I will make you work hard during your experience with Me. You will be put to task in ways few other Doms will do. It might be hard work at times, but it will also be an awful lot of fun. If you’re the right kind of sub – see above.
- Fantasy can differ a lot from reality. It’s a hot idea right? Being kept for days or even weeks by some mean, selfish bastard that has no thought or regard for the sub or slave. Yes, it is. But the reality is much harsher. Imagine what it’s like to have all your choices taken away, being in full bondage and unable to move or ‘rescue’ yourself. You have no control and that’s even during breaks or downtime. Think about the implications of that: once you come into My playrooms and until you leave, you are Mine for My amusement. Any enjoyment you receive is very secondary, although of course, I want you to have had a ‘good time’ in the context of a D/s relationship, but that could mean anything from being scared out of your wits to having a permanent hard on.
- I don’t mess around. One thing with Me is that I take everything people tell Me at face value. If you say, for example, that you’re a no limits masochist that’s done every possible kind of scene, I will base the scene I construct on those words. So be honest and realistic about your experience and your real limitations.
In truth, I’m not a mean, selfish bastard outside of play and in it, I’m more of a demanding sexual sadist and Master with a wicked streak or ten. But I am unlike many people that purport to be Masters, so bear that in mind. I am the real deal and I am too much for some people.
So, here’s the test I referenced in the headline of this post:
- If reading this post made you hard, you’re welcome to play with Me: why haven’t you applied already? But:
- If you thought of Me as arrogant, rude, obnoxious or yes, selfish, then please don’t contact Me, we won’t be suitable play partners but I wish you well in your search, nonetheless.
There are a few simple things that anyone can do to make sure they maximise the enjoyment of their time with Me. I thought I’d share a few tips for ensuring your session with Me goes as planned.
Speed isn’t of the essence. On one occasion, the client booked a session for the next day. That’s far from ideal for Me. Being a professional Dom that takes the word professional very seriously, I like to spend time getting to know all My clients. I speak with them on the phone and I have sometimes seemingly endless message exchanges. At the end of this process, once the session takes place, I know My client intimately. So while the excitement around coming to see Me can build up; it’s better if you think calmly about what you want out of a session and give yourself a few days to allow those exchanges to take place.
Be clear on your expectations. I have over 800 items of gear in My playrooms. Over the past 20 years, every time I’ve seen an interesting item of equipment in a scene, I’ve tended to acquire it to do that scene – or My own despicable variation thereof. So the choice is endless. I also try to make every session as unique as I can with the gear I have. That takes a lot of brainpower and it’s one of the reasons why My fees are perhaps too rich for some. I have to plan and fund all the time upfront that is required thinking about sessions and designing experiences as well as incorporating all the time for communications in addition to the time allocated for the session itself. And, unlike many pro Doms, I don’t clock watch. The scene is done when it’s done; not when the meter runs out.
Now, with all that gear choice comes a lot of responsibility. It’s very easy for Me to choose say five items of gear and dedicate a whole 3-hour session to those pieces of equipment. If those five items aren’t intended for the kind of scene you are hoping for, I won’t know until it’s too late. So tell Me what your main kinks are upfront by completing this sentence:
“If you do [xxxx] to Me, I will have really enjoyed the session and want to come back for more.” Or, perhaps the less technical and eloquent: “I fucking love [xxxx]. Please please do that to Me.”
I don’t mind which construction you use, but please be explicit and unambiguous and we’ll get along fine.
You’re the client – but what kind of client are you? One of the big challenges of being a Pro Dom is that some clients want to serve Me while others want to be served. It’s very hard to work out even from calls and messages which kind of client you might be. So think about which one of the two statements below applies most to your expectations:
- I demand. The toughest group to satisfy, you can encapsulate a ‘demander’ thus: “I’m paying for the session, so I want to make sure I get what I want from it above all else. I won’t feel like I’ve had value for money unless I press the buttons I need to press regardless of whether I am allowed to cum or not.”
- Forthright. These kinds of people are used to getting what they want in life and have strong opinions about everything. They have high expectations and don’t shy away from criticism in any form. Sadly, they can also expect Me to be a mindreader or fail to make explicit their key requirements.
- I hope. The motivation of the ‘hoper’ is summarised as “I’m hoping for certain things to happen in the session, but I really want to leave it to the Dom to determine the content and scope of the session. I really do hope He will do My favourite thing.”
- Generally optimistic. They prefer to share ideas than prescriptions because they know that being open as well as expressing their hopes is likely to get them to the promised land of kink.
- I believe. The ‘believers’ really are open to anything: “I don’t have any preconceived ideas of what I want to see included in the scene. I want to hand Myself over to the Dom and let them shape the content. That way, it’ll be a complete surprise to Me what happens.”
- Always positive. These subs believe wholeheartedly in the D/s dynamic and just want to please Me. They would never think of asking for anything and the word demand is not even in their vocabulary. They exist to serve Me – whatever I decide that looks like.
So are you a 1, 2 or 3? There is no point thinking you are one thing when you are actually another entirely. This is not about what you think a sub should be like, but actually what you are like. This also goes far wider than your sub personality; this is about how you think in everyday life – so be honest with Me and yourself and all will be well. Only you know whether you’re a demander, a hoper or a believer. There are potential trade-offs with every type, so just be true to who you really are and we’ll get along fine.
I’m not a mind-reader. I’ve been described as a scary sonofabitch, sadist, generally mean and even compassionate and comparing person. I’ll happily own all those labels. One thing I am not, however, is a psychic. If I don’t know – from you – what you want in explicit and not euphemistic terms, it’s unlikely I will be able to give it to you.
No, really, I’m not a mind reader. I make the point again for emphasis: there’s a difference between giving Me a prescriptive set of instructions (which doesn’t work for Me and I actively encourage clients not to do this) and giving Me enough clues to construct a scene. So by all means send Me links, pictures, videos of things you like and I’ll do My best to incorporate those ideas into your session. In addition, if while in session you become concerned that I may not press any of your hoped-for buttons, for heavens’ sake just tell Me. Remember: Great Dom, TERRIBLE mind reader.
Please see this post as your prospective Master trying to save us both time and ensure you have a great experience – whatever that looks like. I look forward to meeting you in My playrooms very soon.
I’ve already posted a couple of articles designed to address this question, but as I still I am still getting asked this on a far too frequent basis, I’ve decided to explicitly tackle it head-on.
Right, here goes. Asking Me to answer this question before I’ve even got to know you is like you asking Me what kind of ice cream you like when I don’t even know your tastes. It’s an exercise in futility and it frankly, just annoys Me. Clue: I really detest vanilla.
Now, I’m talking mainly to young guys here, so bois: “listen up”. This should not be the first question you ask a Dom. Why? Well, mainly because it disrespectful and it says you think you’re time is more valuable than Mine. Guess what? It isn’t.
There is this wonderful thing called the internet and this amazing tool called google. Whatever you type in its ‘magic letter box’, you will find interesting content.
There are hundreds, thousands, maybe even millions of kinks and sub-kinks that we could end up talking about.
While that might be fun the first time, when you have hundreds of messages coming in every day, it stops being fun very quickly indeed. So here’s a few pieces of advice from a slightly more mature member of the scene.
- Use google. Type in anything you think might excite you and see what comes up. If it’s something kinky like ‘twinks having sex in army uniforms’ and you’ll get relevant results. Or, ‘leather bondage’ or ‘rubber gimp’, etc etc.
- Filter the fantasies. I can do whatever scene you can imagine (except anything relating to blood, scat (poo), adult baby or mess (sploshing). So help Me narrow it down. Heck, send Me links if you like of things you’ve particularly enjoyed.
- What do you masturbate to? Yes, you do it. So does everybody else. So just tell Me what really gets you going. I’ve heard everything before and I’m completely unshockable.
- What do you dream about? If you’re lucky enough to have kinky dreams tell Me about those too.
If you take time to think about the four short points above, we are going to have a much better time when we eventually start to speak to each other. You make the investment in it and I will make the investment in you and the realisation of your fantasies. Seems like a pretty good deal to Me, wouldn’t you agree?
In recent weeks, I’ve been asked what are my favourite things to do to a sub or slave about 100 times.
It’s actually driving Me a bit ‘potty’, in fact. Not least because most of my communications take place over messaging apps and only Grindr lets you save phrases for re-use (Recon et al please note!). So imagine Me having to type out an abridged version of this post every time I’m asked that question, small wonder my hands are aching.
I’ll be honest and say that I’m not a massive fan of this question.
After all, when you have over 700 items of gear and some quite unique equipment to boot, and you play with maybe 200-300 people a year, it’s hard to say exactly what My favourite thing (or more technically speaking, ‘scene’), is.
Inevitably, I find myself drawn to the rather non-committal and potentially unhelpful response of ‘it depends on the sub’.
But in a bid to develop a ‘definitive’ answer to this damn question, I thought I’d offer some fairly robust views on the topic. Of course, it could change, but you can bet that if asked this question, I shall be directing people to this blog post.
Everything I do involves some kind of restraint – either mental (act as if you’re in bondage – don’t move until I tell you, slave positions, etc), physical (metal, rubber, leather or rope) or sometimes furniture (stocks, bondage benches, and so on).
I love bondage. In all its forms and fashions. Back when the Big Bang happened (start of the universe) and I was a sub, I couldn’t really take even a severe CP session seriously unless I was properly tied down. But as soon as the straps when over my back, I was ready, like a thoroughbred in the stalls at the Grand National. You could have done your worst and all the pain would have turned into pleasure.
Now, as well as an experienced Master and pro-Dom, I’m a sexual sadist. These are words that you don’t see in print or on the Internet too readily. For reasons of well, total lack of societal acceptance. What I enjoy, however, is the infliction of pleasure and yes, sometimes that can also involve – shock horror – pain.
I make a massive distinction between consensual activity and either sexual violence or just plain abuse.
One of the most disappointing opening gambits for Me is when a prospective sub says they ‘don’t like pain’. I have to bite firmly on both lips so that I don’t respond with a curt or sharp, neither do I, reply.
I think pain gets a bad rap. I’m not talking about the kind of pain that one experiences when one stubs one’s toe and says things ‘like oo bugger one felt that’. I’m also not talking about the pain that comes from having your teeth drilled without local anaesthetic (unless you’re a dental fetishist, of course).
So let’s re-brand pain as sensation for a second. There are soft and hard ‘sensations’. Soft feels like a tickle, or a gentle warming. Hard feels sharp, stingy or thuddy, but it’s fleeting and the post sensation buzz far outweighs the short term discomfort. And yes, hard sensations can be challenging, but it’s not like being in a car accident.
So you’re tied down, and you’re experiencing some kind of sensation. So that’s it right?
Nope. I’ve written the most delayed of ‘delayed drops’ (as us writers like to call them) because really, my favourite thing in any scene is to take control of the sub or slave absolutely and without mercy.
So, when someone asks Me what my favourite thing to do in a scene, I will say ‘Total Power Exchange’.
Why? It’s quite simple. I become the guy who rubs the lamp and when the genie grants him three wishes says his first wish is for unlimited additional wishes.
Every imaginable scene, session or fetish is executable once you have TPE.
Once you have total control over the sub or slave, you can technically ‘make’ them do whatever you like. This is called, consensual non-consent. It can sometimes manifest as a ‘No, please Sir, no more’, kind of vibe, which translates as ‘More, please Sir, oh God, please More’. Confusing for the observer but that’s why us kinksters have safewords.
Once I have TPE, I can use a process of consensual non-consent to ‘subject’ the sub or slave to whatever I wish. They should then enjoy it. I’m not discounting all my previous writings about safewords and limits, by the way, but when it comes down to it, Total Power Exchange is the gateway to realising all of my favourite scenes, and that’s why it’s My ultimate ‘favourite thing’.
I’m sure I’ll still get the question every day, but at least I can just cut and paste a link and save my poor hands.
I recently wrote a blog that focused on taking subs and slaves to breaking point: that is to say the point at which the ‘victim’ can take no more of the teasing or torture and is now putty in My Dominant hands.
Of course, if you do not want to reach this point of total submission (and some might say liberation), the time-honoured solution is to use a safeword. This gives both the submissive and the Dominant partner in play the confidence to play ‘on the edge’ without taking an unnecessary or uncalculated risk.
As an aside and general rule, players that identify as slaves by their own preference do not get safewords after their first session with Me (even slaves get safewords when they first play with Me just so I can confirm if they really are a slave or a sub).
Now, for the sake of anyone and everyone that comes and sees Me for a session, I operate three main safewords: Amber, Red and Green.
Given the similarities with traffic lights, I’m going to draw on analogies from the world of cars to illustrate how My safewords work in practice.
- Amber is like the brake pedal. This enables the sub to slow down the scene when the intensity is becoming that little bit too much to bear. It doesn’t bring a halt to the scene, but it does give the sub the opportunity to enforce a break point so that they can regain their composure and continue with the scene without using the more severe ‘Red’ safeword.
- Red is like the emergency parking brake (or handbrake as it’s known in the UK). It stops a scene dead in its tracks. This may because we have inadvertently reached a sub’s hard limits or the compound effect of the scene has simply become too much. Contrary to popular belief, even a Red does not have to result in a permanent end to a scene, but it can. Whether I resume a scene really depends on how the sub is feeling, their ability to cope with what’s happening to them and of course, my reading of their true emotions and state of mind borne out of more than 20 years of play and a background in human psychology.
- Green is the accelerator pedal (or gas pedal in the US). I think I am the only person in the scene that has a safeword that allows the sub to say that, in essence, they want MORE. But in my opinion, it seemed a logical extension of the idea of having safewords. Some subs want to speed up a scene to get to the more intense points and Green gives Me and them the opportunity to have that happen without breaking the flow of the action.
So those are my safewords. The next question is obviously: ‘When is it acceptable to safeword?’
Now that is a very interesting question and will significantly extend the length of this post.
First of all, it’s worth noting that many of my clients come to Me with a desire to serve, and ultimately, please Me. That’s very laudable and after all what the D/s (Dominant/submissive) is supposed to be all about.
HOWEVER, I would rather someone use their safewords than worry about disappointing Me in all honesty. Few reasons:
- The sub hated what happened. This is very rare, but if the scene was, in its entirety, too extreme but the sub felt they could not safeword out of it, they are pretty unlikely to want to see Me again.
- New play partners need calibration. Whenever I agree to meet a professional client, I take great pains to get to know them over email, messaging and often, phone calls. This is a time-intensive and sometimes laborious process designed to get inside the head of the submissive client. However, even with all this pre-work, it can still not be immediately obvious how far and how strong the sub wants Me to play. So safewords, particularly Amber and Green help me gauge true limits, tolerances and yes, even courage of each individual with whom I play.
- There’s never any shame in using a safeword. Let me say that again: there is NO SHAME in using a safeword. They say that the best lessons come from our mistakes and in my many years of play, I’ve made enough that I’ve become adept at reading most situations. That said, I find that the use of safewords precipitates a much deeper and more profound dialogue with My clients that helps me get to the true core of their fantasies and desires.
So please, use your safewords and use them with pride. My belief is that once I’ve played with a client enough times, safewords become largely redundant, but if you do not have the confidence to use them, I’m never going to really know what your true limits are.
Important: If you’ve been asked to read this blog before you play with Me, it’s because I’m looking forward to meeting you and I think we could have a strong connection. That said, I’d rather you don’t come and see Me if you can’t be bothered to read this post several times and fully grasp its contents.
One of my many proclivities is that I really enjoy playing with younger (18-25) year old guys for fun when I’m not seeing clients and on those rare occasions when I have spare time on my hands.
I’ve seen a number of younger guys/pups of late and for many reasons, while fun, the sessions have not always gone according to My plans.
Now, I’m not the kind of person to disappear into a deep well of introspection, but I find My writing often helps Me process what might be happening. In this case, I hope this post will help Me put in better plans and processes for playing with younger guys in the future.
Being a ‘slightly over 40’ year old, I can still remember how unsure of Myself I often was at that age. Some memories still carry with it some pain, in fact, and not the nice kind.
Neither My personality, nor My fetishes were fully-formed and I didn’t really know what I wanted to be career or relationship-wise or for that matter, in the scene. Somebody once told Me something, which although only partially true did help Me in my earlier life. He said: “Remember what you knew at age 21, that’s the right stuff. People will then spend the rest of your life telling you that you are wrong. Ignore them.”
This piece of sage advice only really came to mind after three successive sessions with younger guys that while fun in parts really didn’t inspire Me in the way other sessions have. That’s a problem for Me, because, you know, being mid-life I half has as much life to live as you guys do. Frankly for that reason alone, you’re all bastards. But bitterness aside (sic), back to my post.
I am at that age (read: middle age) where the personality is pretty much baked in. I’m not going to change what I like – either in or out of the scene – nor am I going to change My expectations of what I expect from subs and slaves. So that really just leaves those young guys to reflect and change how they play.
I recognise that if you don’t know yourself all that well, it’s going to be hard to adjust your approach to enjoy playing with an experienced guy like Me, but you can at least try.
Questions to ask yourself before you come to see Me
So here are a few things to consider before you request a session with Me.
1. What do you really want to achieve out of a session with Master Atmydisposal? Are you seeking a Daddy, a tough unforgiving Master, a sexual Top, someone you can experiment with or something else? Take some time to think about this, please. I’ve played with hundreds of guys at all ages, so I know what I enjoy. While I’m an unabashed sexual sadist, I enjoy a tender kiss and a hug just like the next guy.
2. What do you want a scene to contain? I get that you want to experiment and hopefully we can do that together, but if there’s a total disconnect, you really are wasting My time and yours. If you want someone to give you an ‘aggressive cuddle’, just say so. If you want to ‘try everything’, please be realistic. I have over 700 items of gear in My collection, no one is ever going to get to try everything. Also, if you just want a quick blow job or to be wanked off, please go somewhere else.
3. What are your real limits? Be honest; don’t be over-brave. So many younger guys announce proudly to Me that they have no limits and will do anything. Of course, they are being led by their ever-hard cocks. Now, I’ve heard this a million times before and it’s rarely – if ever – true, but in the hunt for the perfect slave, I can get drawn into going along with this on occasion and it often leads to disappointment. It’s far more honest to say what your limits are and what you are comfortable doing REALLY, I mean REALLY. If there are any things you know you really do not want to do (oral sex, swallowing, rimming, pain, etc) please tell Me in advance. It’s not appropriate to withhold information because you are worried you won’t be invited to My playrooms; it will only lead to disappointment for us both. Ask yourself a few key questions:
- Are you into one particular fetish more than others?
- What kind of porn do you most enjoy?
- Do you like pain and if so, to what levels?
- Is being tied up the extent of your fetish?
- Does anything scare you?
- Am I out of your depth as an experienced player at this moment in time?
4. Do your research. There was a time – yes, before the internet – when you had to go into a sex shop (or your local newsagent) and pick up a porn magazine and hand over hard cash before you could enjoy your own personal fetish. Today, it’s there, it’s everywhere and it’s ripe for the taking. So DO YOUR RESEARCH. I’m too busy to do your thinking for you, so go have some fun and see which kinks arouse you the most, then tell Me about them. If you can’t be bothered to do the work, I really can’t be bothered to see you, sorry.
5. Check out my sites. If you like anything on my tumblr blog, which is http://atmydisposal.tumblr.com, or the content on My website http://www.masteratmydisposal.com, the chances are we should get along in a scene. Don’t worry if anything is beyond your current limits, that’s to be expected. But if you look at My sites and feel physically ill or just not turned-on, we’re almost certainly not compatible.
6. I’m not your therapist, but that’s not the same as saying I don’t care. I’m actually on the fence about point 6 Myself, but I mention it here because while I have a background in psychology, I really don’t have time to get into the life story of every sub I see. So my advice, if kink is important to you and if you want to see Me, please get your head sorted first. This may sound callous, but I play with younger guys for pure fun and amusement as well as something nice to look at it. The last thing I want is to pick up the pieces of your ‘broken’ life. That’s not to say I don’t care; more that I’m not best placed to help. So please, if you’re in any doubt go talk to someone professionally to get you in the right frame of mind.
There are people slightly older than you that have to pay to see Me, so you should count yourself lucky that I offer free sessions for anyone under 25. I’m therefore going to make it a requirement that people have read this post inside-out and back-to-front before booking a session with Me. I’ll probably also refine and change it as My insights into playing with younger guys gets more honed. So take the time to read the above and if you’re serious about seeing Me, let’s chat about this post too.
Last edited: 27/09/16
Master Atmydisposal has taken on a new alpha slave to add even more to the experience of visiting His chambers for His clients.
Alpha Slave “S” is on his own journey right now, but has great potential as a sub and also as The Master’s assistant when handling submissives and slaves like YOU. He is young, well-built, energetic and takes His instructions extremely well. Subject to his ability and The Master’s generosity, clients that book Master for at least one day can request him.
Recently, Alpha Slave “S” attended The Master’s Chambers for a photoshoot but got an awful lot more than he bargained for.
You can see a selection of pictures from the extremely horny session in the photo gallery (above).
If you would like to book a session with The Master and experience the delicious pleasures of Alpha Slave “S”, contact The Master NOW. He will book up extremely quickly.